Monday, October 6, 2008

Straw-Graspery

Part One - "I Am Angry at Palin"
(Or "The Political Side of Kevin that Thinks He's Always Right")

I'm looking at that sentence at this very moment, and it seems so strange to me. Who's campaign is this? I thought McCain's, but apparently Palin is exerting some non-existent power as a candidate for the most useless job ever. She's a maverick alright. (I am so sick of that word. "Clarion call" is a phrase that can go to hell too.)

Anyway, maybe you've heard the news, Obama's bestest buddy in the world is a terrorist. What kind of terrorist you may ask. Why, the worst! Unlike those wussies in Afghanistan, this bastard's been raised on American beef, corn, jello pudding snack cups and the blood of patriotic babies across the Midwest, who would have most likely grown up to be soldiers. He's a scary one, alright.

Bill Ayers is so evil, dare I say, that the American government lets him think that he can walk around without being watched. They even tricked him into getting a very prestigious career as a distinguished professor at the University of Illinois. What a dope!

What subject does he teach, you surely must be wondering. Let me enlighten you dear reader. It is not Bomb-Building or Brainwashing or even Flag Pin Crushery. No sir, much more nerfarious than that. He teaches Elementary Education! That is, he teaches young people how to teach younger people. The government must be terrified of someone to keep him far away from the innocent youth of the nation.

But where does Barry Obama fit into all this? It's quite simple really. You see, when Obama was about 8 years old, he was viciously opposed to the Vietnam War. After all, he was in danger of being drafted (in ten years). So Barry strapped on a bomb and heeded the clarion call to rage against the machine.

Not only that, but the jerks had the audacity to serve together on a charity board. I'm not sure what the charity was for, but one can only assume it was for buying blood diamonds. The bloodiest.

Alright, look, I can't condone for a second the actions of the group Weather Underground (Or Weatherman). People died. Opposition to the Vietnam War was a good thing, but setting bombs with the intent to harm innocent people is not. Let's get that straight. Bad.

There are two things to remember here. Despite his past, he's not a big threat now. He is noteworthy, yes, but he's walking around sans-manacles. The group he was a member of did terrible things, yes, but not enough to frighten the government into sending him to Gitmo. And the government is a very skittish kitty. They've locked people up for less. Ayers himself was never convicted of any killings.

The second thing is that his relation to Obama doesn't seem to be the buddy-buddy variety that Palin has pictured it to be. The story about both serving on a charity board is true; the eight-year-old with a stick of dynamite in his teeth is not. The charity was anti-poverty, by the way, not pro-blood diamond. It also met a whooping four times a year.

Ayers did contribute to the Obama campaign for $200 in 2001. I haven't heard any numbers on the current campaign (admittedly I have not searched too dilligently. I can't care too much about this, to be honest.)

To conclude, I think this relationship is innocuous at best, but you don't have to believe me. In fact, I don't want you to just believe me, believe the Palin campaign. Barack Obama is consorting with terrorists. He is a danger to his country. He hates America. We can't have a dangerous individual like this in the executive office. Palin doesn't have a problem if he's a Illinois senator or a US senator though. Those two offices are ok. But that third one...No sir. That's the line.

I'm reminded of McCain's statements that he can catch Bin Laden, but only if he's president. It's a cute phrase, isn't it? McCain can catch Bid Laden but only if he's president. Obama is a danger to this country but only if he's president.
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