Sunday, October 21, 2007

How I Feel About Things and Stuff and Junk, Part Two - The Birth of Lankey Stew

Like most of you, I was cursed with a godawful name: Kevin Stanley Warzala. The only thing this name is fit for renting out porno videos somewhere in the Soviet bloc. There's no rhythm. It doesn't pop. It even sounds creepy. Maybe if my first name had been "Vlad" or something I could pass for a Romanian vampire, but no, my parents had to name me after a guy they knew in high school that ran the AV club.
Not only that, but I'm aware of many people in the world that have discarded their perfectly awesome names for something less than cool. Cassius Clay, for instance, just rolls off the tongue. Peter Parker, also catchy. This upsets me greatly, because the list of people who have made up names for themselves is way longer. Peter Parker, you greedy bastard. You didn't need "Spider-Man," so let one of us poor schmucks use it.
That is why today I will be trying to come up with a decent nom de plume to join the ranks of those such as Mark Twain, Lemony Snicket, Lewis Carroll, and JK Rowling (who doesn't have a middle name, the fucking liar). But I don't just want to make shit up. I'm a writer, that's not what I'm good at. But I am very interested in creating an anagram of my name that sounds better than my real name.

Potential Anagram Pen Names
Vikter Zaaanney Walls
Steve Ray Kaan Win Lazy
Steve Azrial Wanankly
and my personal favorite....
Lankey Stew Razvinala

Fuck it, I'm taking Spider-Man.
Post a Comment