Saturday, October 20, 2007

5 Second Music Reviews

The Weakerthans - Reunion Tour
You are not Ben Folds. Stop trying to be.

Between the Buried and Me - Colors
Experimental is not cool.

Baroness - The Red Album
Why does hippie music go on foreeeeeveeer. So damn tedious.

The Bled - Silent Treatment
ALBUM OF THE YEAR. Well no, probably not, but it's up there.
Yes, I am aware it is October. No, I do not care.

Vanessa Carlton - Heroes and Thieves
Download "Hands on Me". Listen to it five times. Delete.

Hurt - Vol. II
Hurt is really going at being really soft and slow and then very suddenly rocking your face off.

Arch Enemy - Rise of the Tyrant
Very cool. Are they from Europe? I don't know, but they're good.

Drop Dead Gorgeous - Worse Than a Fairy Tale
ALBUM OF THE YEAR. Well, no, I guess this isn't album of the year, either. But it's good too.

Thousand Foot Krutch - The Flame in All of Us
I like TFK a lot more when they don't try to be hard rock, because they're not. They don't try so hard here, and it's a good thing.

Hot Hot Heat - Happiness LTD.
I am so glad I'm not a fan of this album. I don't think I could look myself in the mirror if I liked even one song, ok, maybe two songs. Alright, three songs. No more than three songs.

Sixx AM - The Heroine Diaries
Do you like their song on the radio? Good. Listen to it and don't bother with the rest of their garbage.

The Black Dhalia Murder - Nocturnal
I wish I liked hardcore more than I do, because then I would like this album more than I do.

Every Time I Die - The Big Dirty
You SUCK! You suckdiddly-uck, Flanders! Why do people like you?

The Forecast - In the Shadow of Two Gunman
ALBUM OF THE YEAR. Seriously, I mean it this time. Totally awesome. This really is the album of the year (in a six-way tie with In This Moment, Drop Dead Gorgeous, The Bled, From Autumn to Ashes and The Devil Wears Prada and probably many more)



Albums That Were Not Even Worth Mentioning
River City Rebels - Keepsake of Luck
Himsa - Summon in Thunder
High on Fire - Death in Communication
Life Once Lost - Iron Gag
Bring Me the Horizon - This is What the Edge of Your Seat Was Made For
Foo Fighters - Echoes Silence Patience Grace
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